1.Think about what your needs are in a relationship. Making a list of all the qualities you want in a partner and then identifying the top 10 non-negotiable items can help you clarify what you really desire.
2. Assess the compatibility of your lifestyles. Take time to think about whether you and a potential partner share similar interests, goals and values. NOTE: Compatibility in all areas is not realistic. But share what is important to you and make sure you and a possible mate can find ways to make peace with differences and not always do what you want to do.
3. Establish bottom lines. There is not room for compromise on some issues. Think about those qualities and behaviors and make sure you look for a potential mate.
4. Think about how you communicate. You should be assessing how you and a possible partner resolve differences. Disagreements tear at a relationship so you and your mate need to establish ways to work them out immediately. The approaches should leave both people satisfied they have reached an acceptable compromise.
5.Talk, talk, talk. Make sure you and your partner talk about the issues that are important to both of you. This includes top deal-breakers - money, intimacy, work, his-kids-your-kids issues, couple alone time when kids are around, priorities, and even the amount of time you spend together or apart.
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