Truth or Hair; Are You Pristine Down There?

If you are feeling "kinky" down there, "hair no evil" girlfriend.

I just learned of a new product today from another savvy sisters blog. Ok, when I first heard of "Betty hair Dye...for the hair down there, I have admit to laughing.

I guess The drapes should match the carpet..right?

Then I got to thinking about my own situation. Now I have always been a natural Blonde, with the last several years off admittedly highlighting my hair for some shine, golden highlights and added body...(somehow the extreme damage we pay big bucks for makes styling easier.) But just when I thought I was "up on things," I had an enlightening conversation with my "in the know" sister-in-law. Everything I know about any current trend, I glean from our 20 minute phone conversations griping about carpooling and our combined relatives. It went something like this:

SIL: Oh I have a landing strip now, did I tell you?

Me: A what?

SIL: A landing strip...ya know..down there??

Me: You shaved?

SIL: Noooooo, I had a wax, a semi-Brazilian done at the salon today...it's amazing! Everyone is doing it...sexy, clean, feels nummy in lace....your brother LOVES it!

Me: (Gagging at the visual of my brother even having sex...) "Did it hurt"?

SIL: I don't remember. They gave me lots of Chardonnay while I waited.

After hanging up I immediately raced to the bathroom and stripped naked from the waist down. God dang, is this even acceptable? I mean, I keep the garden trimmed but how much better can a wax job be for $35 plus tip?

I had an appointment within five minutes.

I had never given my pubes much thought with the exception of the regular "gray pube" check because apparently this is where they will spring up first, and when that happens I will simply shit.

The next day, while laying on the wax table I found myself with the same jitters of first time sex, not knowing what to expect, or if my parents would walk in.

I sat in a teeny pair of paper panties with bees imprinted on them, while listening to a vat of 200 degree wax bubble in the corner like a cauldron. The tech walked in, explained the procedure and with the ease and skill of a surgeon began twisting me into impossible positions while slathering me with hot honey wax with a wooden tongue depressor.

Watching this would be every guys dream I thought. I could put this on U-tube.

She next began pressing several (I'm taking like 30) strips of fabric over each tiny wax application, rubbing it and........ R-I-P-P-P....... tore it back. My eyes started to tear up when she moved towards the back end....geez!

I asked for a spinal block. They didn't have one. She gave me more wine.

Now with my new found partial wax jobs (Yes I have done it three times since) I am hooked and cannot imagine NOT doing it. She was right. Something about sliding on a Victoria Secrets lace panty afterwords is an amazing feeling.. even jeans feel great.

Now, apparently there is more work to be done....so I relented and ordered my very own "Blonde Betty" kit tonight. I am going to drink three glasses of wine, get a cab to my next wax job, treat myself to more underware and promptly come home and finish off the landscape myself.

I will blog about the results unless I damage myself beyond repair.

Here is what the owner of "Betty" had to say on her website at: http://bettybeauty.com/our_story.html


"...WOW! Thanks to everyone for your support. Betty is getting so much love and attention! From Vogue Magazine to Daily Candy, fans have been finding out about Betty and reaching out. We have heard from young and old, male and female, from New York to Sydney Australia! Once you try it, please let us know how you like Betty -- your feedback is important. Get your Betty ready!"

Back in New York, I told a salon-owner friend about it. She responded, "I'm sure my clients would love a product like this, and I'd use it myself!" Not only did she like the idea of matching her chestnut brown hair, but also - she confessed - she desperately needed to cover some grays she'd recently discovered down there!

My next stop was to ask a gynecologist friend to estimate the percentage of her clients whose hair down there didn't match the hair on their heads. As it turned out, almost no one matches!