The Mystery of HGUG
Every woman knows what HGUG is.
Its the ongoing mystery of "hot guy ugly girl" syndrome. To me it is right up there with other universal mysteries such as "why do bath towels smell funny after one use" and "why do I always get seated next to people who smell on airplanes".
Women just don't understand what vibes these unattractive mavens emit to gain the undying devotion of a guy who looks like he is a district manager for Hermes or Chang, writes her love letters as hipster Haiku's, knows just how she likes her coffee, rubs her back during a football game and washes her car every Saturday morning in a tight black tank top.
Here is a prime example. Years ago there was a really good looking guy in my department at the airline I worked for.Any of us girls would have licked his spit off the floor just to get a taste of him.
When we heard that Felicia "face-picker" Johnson was engaged to Mr. "we want to smell your neck and taste your spit", none of us believed it, that is until she showed us the rock on her pudgy little finger. Watching her beam from ear to ear in her Christmas sweater with light up snow man, was when I heard the sound of my nervous system collapsing.
I have since wondered what these girls do to get these guys. These girls who are sweet..... but come ON people, we are talking ugly like what happens when first cousins have kids kind of ugly.What do these girls do to get these guys?
Do they make a mean lasagna? Acrobats in the sack?
OK, here is the scary part. I have always thought the guys I dated are hot.But what if I am one of these UG's with an HG and nobody is telling me? What if I am only a 2 on the 1-10 scale? (Yes, every girl secretly wishes she knew her number but is to afraid to ask).
The trick here is to ask a guy what he thinks of another random girl in a restaurant. We choose a girl who is better looking than what we think we are. When he says she's a 9 we can rest assured we are near 7 (If he says 5 it takes a full 30 minutes and two more Gin & Tonics to lubricate my brain that I am a 3.
There is also the reverse problem of HGUG (Hot girl-ugly guy) The beautiful girl with a killer body who laughs at everything "stinky bald guy" says, rests her hand on his arm and swings her flowery smelling tresses, but we all know the answer to that one.
Money.
So with that said, I will continue to wonder what is up with HGUG as I see these mismatched couples frolicking and kissing in the park. And if I am one of them... I never want to know.
Every woman knows what HGUG is.
Its the ongoing mystery of "hot guy ugly girl" syndrome. To me it is right up there with other universal mysteries such as "why do bath towels smell funny after one use" and "why do I always get seated next to people who smell on airplanes".
Women just don't understand what vibes these unattractive mavens emit to gain the undying devotion of a guy who looks like he is a district manager for Hermes or Chang, writes her love letters as hipster Haiku's, knows just how she likes her coffee, rubs her back during a football game and washes her car every Saturday morning in a tight black tank top.
Here is a prime example. Years ago there was a really good looking guy in my department at the airline I worked for.Any of us girls would have licked his spit off the floor just to get a taste of him.
When we heard that Felicia "face-picker" Johnson was engaged to Mr. "we want to smell your neck and taste your spit", none of us believed it, that is until she showed us the rock on her pudgy little finger. Watching her beam from ear to ear in her Christmas sweater with light up snow man, was when I heard the sound of my nervous system collapsing.
I have since wondered what these girls do to get these guys. These girls who are sweet..... but come ON people, we are talking ugly like what happens when first cousins have kids kind of ugly.What do these girls do to get these guys?
Do they make a mean lasagna? Acrobats in the sack?
OK, here is the scary part. I have always thought the guys I dated are hot.But what if I am one of these UG's with an HG and nobody is telling me? What if I am only a 2 on the 1-10 scale? (Yes, every girl secretly wishes she knew her number but is to afraid to ask).
The trick here is to ask a guy what he thinks of another random girl in a restaurant. We choose a girl who is better looking than what we think we are. When he says she's a 9 we can rest assured we are near 7 (If he says 5 it takes a full 30 minutes and two more Gin & Tonics to lubricate my brain that I am a 3.
There is also the reverse problem of HGUG (Hot girl-ugly guy) The beautiful girl with a killer body who laughs at everything "stinky bald guy" says, rests her hand on his arm and swings her flowery smelling tresses, but we all know the answer to that one.
Money.
So with that said, I will continue to wonder what is up with HGUG as I see these mismatched couples frolicking and kissing in the park. And if I am one of them... I never want to know.
1 comment:
Fear not. You're 10 out of 11. I took away one point just so you don't get the BIG HEAD because we ALL know that that's not pretty.
I've sort of figured out the mismatch thing. We aren't SUPPOSED to like both people in a couple; and when you do end up meeting and liking two people in one couple, that's a RARE find.
(hint, hint, you and him)
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